What if he texts you but doesn’t ask you out on a date?

July 18, 2016 By: Andreja Andrews | Comments 13

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Have you ever met a guy who you like and he sends you nice text messages on a regular basis but never asks you out? 

You like him very much but time is passing and nothing changes. You feel very frustrated about it.

He is flirting with you and you are surely not in a friend zone but what is he waiting for? Why doesn’t he ask you out?you might be wondering.

Maybe after a long wait, you decided to take initiative and ask him out. He said yes but then canceled at the last moment. Looks like he is really wishy-washy but he keeps sending messages to you.

What does that mean and what to do about it?

Texting can’t replace face to face visits. Many intelligent women nowadays get fooled by this attention and believe that it means something. But sadly, it doesn’t!!!

Texting without meeting and dating is just words, nothing more!

Some men get their fill of feminine energy without ever needing to date you. In some cases, they build a stable texting buddies to boost their ego.

Don’t fall into this trap!

When a man is truly interested in you, he will ask you out and he will want to see you! No matter what that man has to do, he will fit you into his schedule. If a guy really likes you, he will make time for you and make sure he gets in touch with you. 

If he likes you, you will know it! You shouldn’t ever be left wondering.

What to do in a situation like this? This man is actually stringing you along and “chatting you up”. He is keeping you as an option if all the other things don’t work out.

Maybe he talks about getting together but never follows up. This is a man who has decided you are not the one for him. It is possible that you feed his ego so he keeps up flirting and texting because it makes him feel good.

If he doesn’t ask to talk on the phone and then meet you within next ten days or maximum of two weeks, you can stop answering his texts and move on! It is simple as that! You are investing your precious time in a man who has no plans to date you.

Therefore, it is your job to get out of the situation like this and to weed out guys who are not serious. Those texting things are meaningless!

This is one of the boundaries you can set for yourself and refuse any guy who is not acting in accordance with it.

For example, I had my boundary set that I stop responding to a man who hasn’t asked me out in a three weeks period.

Set your own boundaries in advance and stick to them!

Having boundaries helps us in valuing ourselves and in maintaining our confidence high. Every man that meets you will know that you are a woman who values and respects herself and holds herself in high regard. He will be able to feel it in your vibe.

That will make you even more attractive. Having boundaries will help you to let go of the people who don’t do what they are supposed to so you can make free space for the ones who will give you all that you need.

Don’t accept crumbs when you deserve the whole cake! We accept the love we think we deserve.  You deserve the best! You deserve a man who will want to spend time with you and who will not keep you waiting and wondering. You deserve a man to whom you will be a priority and not just a texting buddy.

Hence, if you notice that a guy is wishy-washy, just move on!

You deserve better than that! Don’t make excuses for him and don’t waste more of your precious time.

If he wanted to ask you out, he would!

P.S. If you want to get more love advice from me and connect with other ladies who are also learning the new things about dating and relationships, join us in private Facebook group “Love With Ease”.

Everything you post there is highly confidential.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/277358435991748

I would love to get to know you and connect with you more in my facebook group.

 

Lots of love,

Andreja

Comments:

  1. September 26, 2016MAR S

    Hi!
    I ‘ve been dating supposingly having a relationship with a guy since may..last 2 months we only met twice..and he has been finding excuses about meeting up..its been 4 weeks now we havent seen each other..he says he has economic issues bla blah..but he keeps texting me normal like before..however he stopped calling me as often..he used to call 2ce a day!! Why does he play with my mind??? :/

    • October 5, 2016Andreja Andrews

      Dear Maria,

      I hope you are dating others guys at the same time and if you haven’t until now, now it is a good moment to start! You have nothing from a man who doesn’t see you for 4 weeks!! Men speak with their actions, not with their words! So if there is a lack of action, that means that in this moment this man hasn’t made you his priority and you should be with a man who is making you feel special, important and cared for. Messages can’t replace face to face moments. How does his not seeing you for 4 weeks make you feel? For a woman who is valuing herself, a lack of mans action will be a huge turn-off. Sometimes we get attached to a man who in a reality has so little to offer and get fooled by his words. Just look at his actions, there is where the truth is! You deserve to be with a guy who treats you like a princess. You need to put yourself and your needs first. Next time when this man calls you, you can express him how you feel about him not seeing you for so long and you can express yourself in a feeling statements: “It doesn’t feel good to me to be in a contact with a man who is not able to see me on a regular basis. What do you think we should do?”. And then if he will promise you that he will start to see you more often and then again doesn’t do it, you need to stop all contact as soon as possible. Never wait for a man, get yourself busy dating other guys and never be around anyone who makes you feel less than great. Be very fast in getting rid of guys who doesn’t treat you like a princess. Just simply say “Next!”. There are plenty fish in the sea. Good luck to you.

      I hope this helps.
      Love,
      Andreja

  2. October 5, 2016MAR S

    Wow Andreja thats true..i know..i do feel that i am not his priority..but its such a sudden change..i just don’t get why..he introduced me to his family..we had dinner with the family etc..now i don’t feel we have a real relationship..i did try to go out and meet other guys but i got attached to him and thats the sad truth…we made love and its tough now
    ..

    • October 9, 2016Andreja Andrews

      Dear Maria, I understand how you feel, we all have been there. In the past when I didn’t know the things I know now, I experienced many times how easy it is to get attached to a guy I would like. But that is not the right way to go and I know you can change this all around! Because if I did, you can do it too! You just need to learn how to do it and I can help you with that. In love, YOU should be a target and not a man! You should be the one he got attached to and not the opposite! You need to have control and maintain your power in a relationship! If a woman doesn’t have those two things, a sucessful relationship is not possible. In order to have control of yourself and a situation, you need to have boundaries set in an advance. Boundaries are about truly valuing yourself. They are set of rules what you will or will not tolerate in a relationship and they are also about knowing what kind of relationship do you expect to have. Guys in general have different dating timeline than us women. If a man doesn’t ask you to get married, he is just dating you which means that he actually doesn’t feel any kind of serious commitment to you. Us women believe that if a man is with us for a year or many years or living with us or introduces us to his parents or friends, that it means that relationship is getting more serious. But unfortunately, on guys timeline, all of those events mean just that he is dating you and this kind of relationship is actually just an imaginary relationship. Did you download a free report from this page? There you can read some basic concepts that I teach. It can help you to start fresh. We often believe we know naturally how to behave with men and that everything will be okay when we meet a right person. But the truth is that there are some skills and some basic knowledge we need to have in order to be successful in our relationships. Once when you start to practice concepts, tools and skills of which I am talking about in my coaching it will bring a change in the way you feel about yourself and men in general. Those little changes from the inside together with using different words with men on the outside, will all together bring fantastic results in your love life. So, keep learning, and don’t be scared to let go of any man who, by his lack of effort, is showing that he is not the right man for you. By letting go of a man who doesn’t treat you on the way you deserve to be treated, you are creating a space for a better man to come! Don’t hold the space my dear. Life is too short for wasting time on people who don’t actually deserve it! Value yourself more and adopt a strong belief that you are worthy of a man’s full attention. love and commitment!

      Lots of Love to you,
      Andreja

  3. October 14, 2016MAR S

    That was really helpful and encouraging Andreja!
    The real reason behind all this was..that he was actually double dating..and i found out by chance (luckily for me and the other girl)..!!! So really..men will always be men!

  4. October 16, 2016Andreja Andrews

    Dear Maria, I understand that you don’t feel too happy about this outcome but at least you have a clearer picture regarding your situation. Very important now is not to feel bitter and not to make a negative attitude about men because that will not serve you. There are a plenty of loyal, good, loving, faithful and supportive men out there. Outside world always reflects our beliefs so if you will adopt a negative belief that all men are jerks, you will attract experiences that will confirm your belief. If you read a blog on this website about commitment and being a “girlfriend”, you will see how I always advise not to accept exclusivity if there is no strong commitment from a man’s side (means marriage). Dating more guys at the same time until one doesn’t claim you and you say “yes” is a way to go. I believe I can really help you much more in getting better results in your love life and creating a firm and fresh foundation because I believe you need a little intervention. Feel free to send me an email if you want to learn more or join private and close facebook group “Love With Ease” where I will be able to hear more about you and support you more. Lots of love to you.

  5. October 28, 2016Jessica James

    Hi!

    I have been out on a date with a guy once, we had a great time and clicked. He text me straight away and has done every morning since. The constant contact has been reassuring but he told me has has a busy three weeks coming up and didnt want to look like he was trying to get rid of me so didn’t mention this until i brought it up. Two weeks have now passed and i brought up one night, via text, that we should probably arrange that second date. He said yes and he would check his work shifts and let me know. I have no reason to believe he is lying to me but something tells me that three weeks don’t go by when you’re keen on someone and thats just “fine”. I feel like a pen pal. Am i just the girl that he is keeping his options open for? Or is he genuinely busy and unable to tell me his schedule as this often changes (he is a policeman).

    Help!!

  6. October 31, 2016Suzon Sanford-wildridge

    The same thing on my end almost exactly but longer. We went out 2 times over 7 months ago and gen constantly texts, tells me how much he wants to get together, makes the plans occasionally, hardly ever, and breaks them. We make each other laugh, he and I don’t go too deep in conversation, not for lack of trying on my end. We have gone as far as sexting one time. Nothing physical except a great kiss when we did go out. Grrr! He has said he’s being an idiot and I’ve called him out, asked him out. I’m just out of ideas. Now I wanna know do I do a final text asking if I’m just allowing him to boost his ego or should I keep texting as friends. Btw, I have not been dating anyone else but it’s mainly because I haven’t been ready, not be because of him. But if I were to be dating, he would be who I would want. Make sense? Help!!! What do I say or do I even say a word about it again? Pretty sure I know my answer

  7. November 1, 2016Andreja Andrews

    Dear Jessica,
    There are so many things I would like to share with you as a reply to your post.
    It would be so much easier to reply to you via short Skype call than writing an essay here. You can send me an email at coachandrejaandrews@gmail.com for arranging day and time for our Discovery call or you can contact me directly in my private Facebook group “Love With Ease” or by sending a private message there.

    Let me reply to you here with some most important facts.

    You are right, 3 weeks are a way too long for not seeing a person who is your priority.

    And secondly, a man should be the one who asks you for a second date without you needing to remind him. By reminding him, you are leaning forward and that is never good for a dynamic of a relationship.

    Men do what they want and they know what they want.
    If he wants a second date, he will ask you.

    Your only job is to set a rule of how long are you waiting for someone to ask you out and then stick to this rule.
    Nothing else is important besides you respecting your boundaries.
    His explanations and excuses have no value, they are just words and you should observe only his actions.

    Feel free to reach out via an email or on Facebook and it will be much easier for me to help you get better results with this or any other situation.

    Lots of Love,
    Andreja

  8. November 2, 2016Andreja Andrews

    Dear Suzon,

    If you go and check one of the first posts in my “Love With Ease” Fb group, you will see that it is about defying what kind of relationship do you want and how do you want to feel in your perfect relationship.

    If your perfect relationship is to see a guy twice in 7 months and spend the rest of the time texting, then you are doing great!

    If you would like for yourself a different kind of a relationship, then it is necessary to start dating again and get yourself out there.

    No matter where you stand at the moment, it is firstly necessary to identify what is holding you back and I am not sure that you can do it on your own because I can sense a deeper issue here.

    You can start with defying what you really want in your love life and how close or far you are at the moment from achieving it.

    Be honest with yourself. Don’t allow fear to block you having what you can have if you allow yourself to admit what you really want and deserve,

    Sometimes we develop an inappropriate mindset and adopt some very fake and untrue beliefs which then holds us back without us being aware what is really going on.

    We live in self-denial and the price we pay for that is A LOT OF TIME WASTED.

    Once when you bring to light what has been holding you back so far, you become able to be free again.

    Free from your false beliefs and past experiences because our past is not our future.
    We can fix all of this!

    If you want a support, guidance, and shortcut on this journey we can do an Assesment call where I can help you define what you really want and steps necessary to do in order to get it.

    I would love to hear more about you and support you more.

    Lots of Love,
    Andreja

  9. November 29, 2016Olivia

    Hi Andreja,
    Intent on a first date with a guy who texted me a day or so later . We’ve been in contact for a bout a week and a half regularly and he definitely is interested (he told a mutual friend) yet he hasn’t asked me on a second date yet. I know his job is demanded however Ive set a deadline which is the end of this week to set something in stone. I don’t chase and always let him come to me. My question is how do I faze him out if he does not ask me for that date? While he’s reaching out and texting I have a feeling he won’t step up. Do I simply stop returning his texts? does he deserve an explanation ? how do I navigate this in a mature way?

    • December 1, 2016Andreja Andrews

      Dear Olivia,

      Feels lovely to hear from you. I noticed two awesome things in your post.

      Firstly, you wait for a man to reach out first in an initial phase of dating and that is great!
      Secondly, Bravo to you for setting your boundary and for deciding to stick to it!
      As you said, one of the ways is to simply stop replying to his texts.
      By my opinion, even more, an empowering way would be to express yourself and to do it, of course, in a feminine way and in a way that will show that you are a high-value woman. Your script can sound something like this: “Feels great being in contact with you (or to meet you) and I am not kind of woman who is ready to wait longer than 3 weeks to be asked out on a date. I chose in my life only to be around people who treat me as a priority. I don’t see that happening here. My best wishes to you and take care.”

      If you will do this, take a good care to check from which energetic space are you coming from- are you coming from the place of an anger and resentment or are you coming from the place of self-love, self-empowerment without feeling any kind of negative emotion towards him.
      He has chosen not to invite you out again and he has full right to do so just as you have full right to say Bye when he is not able to fulfill your basic need for meeting you on the regular basis.
      Do this with dignity and self-love and it will make you feel so powerful and so much stronger on the inside and will do wonders for your confidence and self-esteem. It really doesn’t matter what will happen with this guy and how many guys more will you need to reject.
      Approach dating as a way of self empowering rather than being too much result oriented.
      While being in this process, you will become so much more grounded in self-love and self-value that soon, there will not be any other option than attract a much better quality man who will want to love you just because you became much more loving towards yourself by sticking strongly to your boundaries and not holding space for wishy-washy guys who are usually such a time wasters and bring a lot of frustration.
      If he is not “all in”, say “Next”.
      Men in the outside world are the reflection of our inner self-love situation. A man can love you just as much as you love yourself.
      The more time you will say “No” and “Next” while getting rid of guys who are not “all in”, the more self-loving and strong on the inside you will become.
      And Wow, I know how hard it feels to do that sometimes! Oh my God, I have been through the same process.
      You really want for that cute and great guy to step up and do the job! But unfortunately some of them don’t and it will not change as time passes by! It changes only in a case if we have changed something deeply inside us.
      It can feel so dissapointing and you really want to wait and give those kind of guys many chances. Usually we like them very much and it doesnt feel so easy to let go. But my lovely ladies, you are wasting so much energy and precious time and it is not worth it!
      Remember that you are letting go of those kind of guys for your own growth and for your own better results in a long run. He is just a messenger who is telling you that you need to love yourself more. When we love ourselves enough then we attract men who are witnessing that to us by being super loving towards us.
      While we are attracting wishy-washy men it means that our loving ourselves on the inside is also wishy-washy. Changes always happen firstly on the inside and then reflect in the outside world.

      By saying “Next” you will be strenghtening that inner self-love and self-value muscle. Leave the “feelings of falling in love with him straight away” as much as you can, OUT of the initial phases of dating is a way to go.

      Anyways Olivia, you are doing great and you are on the good track!
      I really like your question and I want to share it, together with my reply, in my private group and I hope you don’t mind.

      You are so welcome to join us in private “Love With Ease” Facebook group.
      Let me know what you have decided, will you use the script or not, and if yes, how it went.
      Much Love xxxx

  10. March 25, 2017Yuenie

    Hi Andreja, I met a guy online and we had first date 2 weeks ago. We had a nice dinner then cocktail without any deadair. After the date I was away a week for my holiday and we had text everyday, he told me he looked forward to seeing me soon. We had our second date on the day I back home, that was a great night again and finally we kissed. On next day I told him I was nearby his office and I asked if he would like a coffee, he said he had lots of work to do so let’s meet up later this week. It’s been few days now he has not mention about meeting up for third date, but he texts me almost everyday. I don’t know what goes wrong since we kissed however I like him a lot, I can feel he is interested in me too. Can you please give me some advises?

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