Should you text a man who stopped texting/contacting you?
I remember, around four years ago, when I first heard about the system of tools that I am teaching today, I was practicing it on my own.
I was dating a few guys at the same time, which I today call SIM or MULTI dating as an abbreviation for simultaneously dating more than one guy at the same time.
One evening I met a new guy who left a great first impression on me. He picked a great place to meet, we had a lot to talk about and it was a perfect evening.
After our date, he told me to text him if I was interested in continuing to date him. It was a red flag for me and I thought, “Why is he asking me this?“.
I didn’t feel totally comfortable with it and I remembered that I had learned that if a man asks you to do something then he is pushing you into masculine energy and leaning forward. During that time I was really practicing being in my feminine energy and leaning back.
I was feeling a bit nervous and excited that night so I didn’t know what to reply but today I would know to say to him, “I like it when a man contacts me first. What do you think?”.
Anyways, I did contact him the next day with a nice feeling statement message. He replied that he would be happy to see me again, that he will plan something and call me.
And then, not a word from him in the next 12 days!!!!!
I know maybe it doesn’t seem like a big thing because it was just one date but it was a big thing for me because I thought he was special and I gave him much more importance than he actually deserved.
It is all in our head when we make a man special from the start, even though it is way too early to jump to that conclusion because he hasn’t supported it with any action yet. It is what I call “an imaginary picture of a guy“ which then leads to “an imaginary relationship“ where you have gotten yourself invested in a guy way too early.
So I always advise my ladies to treat all guys that they are SIM dating EQUALLY. Not making one better or more important than another, rather staying objective and watching their actions.
Make a guy special only if his actions are special!
Let me go back to the story.
I remember, around day six, I was feeling so disappointed and had the urge to text him. I was thinking maybe he was the kind of a guy who needed a little help from my side to realise that I liked him. And I was thinking if I did not text him than some other lady will!
Luckily I promised myself that I would follow the SIM system, and one of the boundaries which I was practicing was to not initiate contact at the beginning of a relationship. My choice instead was to get more active on online dating websites and redirect my energy towards other guys.
That felt really hard to do but I stuck to it!
I remember, that night on the sixth day, I ended up on a date with one of the other guys I was seeing at the same time, and wow, that really helped me to forget a bit about this guy but still not totally.
During the next few days, I was really active on online dating platforms and went on a few more dates and that all help me to let go of the man who obviously wasn’t interested enough.
I succeeded to observe his lack of effort as a turn-off rather than a call for a more action from my side.
After that sixth and seventh-day crisis, it was much easier to overcome the urge to text him.
Finally, on the 12th day, when I had already let go of him energetically, he came back and I received his message in which he explained how he had been ill with food poisoning and had even been hospitalised for a few days.
Wow! That was a success! I felt so happy and grateful and so impressed with how this thing of leaning back really works.
Only when I stopped obsessing about him and making him too important was he able to come to me!
This blog is already too long to continue writing about what happened next with this man so I would rather choose to share what I gained from this experience:
- Because I stayed faithful to my boundary of not texting him, I felt stronger from the inside and very proud of myself
- This journey of love-life transformation is never about a man. Instead it is about self-empowerment and attracting a better quality man from that much more confident, firm, self-loving and stable state of being
- Even though I wasn’t physically leaning forward by texting him, I was thinking about him so much that I was actually energetically pushing him away. Only when I got myself more into dating other men did I succeed in letting go of him and that was a huge success for me
- I realized that if a man is a great match for you, he will not forget to call you or text you and you don’t need to HELP him or SHOW him your interest by texting him. It is enough to stay energetically open and warm, to smile and express appreciation for little things he does for you
- If other ladies are texting him and getting his attention because he is receiving tons of messages, let them have him!! You don’t want a man who is not ready to invest and make an effort in you! Trust me, the ladies who lean forward will not be able to keep his interest in the long run! Only in the case of a very feminine energy guy will this work and why would you want a guy like that?
If a man asks you on the first date to call him, that is a red flag and he is probably a very feminine energy type of a man
- Do NOT get yourself invested in a man before he shows you that he is really worthy. Don’t make a man special until he has proved to you that he is by his everyday effort!
I hope you learned something from this.
Have you ever experienced obsessing about a man, not receiving his texts and only when you forget about him, here he turns up again?
Have you ever had a hard time wanting to contact him but know that you shouldn’t?
Lots of Love,