I remember a few years ago someone told me that “Our Vibe Speak Louder Then Our Words”.
I remember back then I understood that; whenever we feel good. positive and energetic, we spread good vibes to people around us and to the universe.
What does it really mean to shift our vibe? When is our vibe actually speaking something that we aren’t saying? We are all so good at pretending and such good actors. We believe that it is much better to hide the truth sometimes and to stay in our comfort zone and not to rock the boat of the relationship.
Pretending, acting, lying, being defensive, stuffing things down, trying to please others on our own cost or not being able to say “no“ to a man will just push a man away.
Let me give you an example.
Imagine you’re feeling angry because a man you are dating is late for a date and that isn’t the first time. You don’t want to evoke an argument or a fight so you just smile and act like nothing happened. Even though you’re sitting there with a big smile on your face, he can feel, in your vibe, in your energy field, that something is off.
He actually feels uncomfortable sitting there with you. He feels the tension in the air even though he doesn’t know why. You didn’t say anything to him, but still, your vibe is communicating that you aren’t happy about something.
How can you shift your vibe in a situation like this?
It can happen simply by being authentic, expressing your truth in the moment without attacking a man or making him wrong. It’s about expressing how you feel and asking him what he thinks about it.
A woman who is strong and confident enough to tell her truth in any situation is very attractive to a man. A woman who is able to feel her feelings and express them in each moment, simple and authentic as they show up, is a magnet to a man.
If you have felt angry, you should allow yourself to feel angry and acknowledge and accept it . Embrace that feeling and take full responsibility for it!
When he comes to you, you can share with him that you feel angry and that you don’t like waiting and ask him what he thinks you two should do? The most important thing here is to owe your own anger without attacking him or acting out of it.
Shifting your vibe at any moment is a skill you can learn by practicing it baby step by baby step.
It is crucial to recognize moments in which your vibe is changing. Moments in which you start to feel needy, desperate or similar. You can stop those moments by redirecting your thoughts to more positive ones.
You Need To Trust Your Vibe Because Energy Never Lies!
In order to have a good vibe, it is also necessary to do all in your power to feel good about yourself.
In addition, shifting your vibe is very much about the attitude you have toward yourself.
Do you believe deep inside yourself that you’re lovable? Do you believe that you deserve love and fulfilling and wonderful relationship?
What are your beliefs about men and relationships? Do you think that all the good men are taken and that you will never attract a good man for yourself?
Do you believe that you’re attractive to all men around you? Are you a crumb taker, a doormat type of woman? Or do you believe that you are a prize he has to win?
All the beliefs you have about yourself are with you in your energy field; in your vibe, and you are carrying them with you where ever you go.
Whatever you believe about yourself deep down, you will attract in the outside world!
If you don’t value yourself and don’t believe that you deserve a great partner, you will attract a man who will not treat you well because deep down you believe that you don’t deserve anyone better than that. Your vibe attracts your tribe!
We get the love we think we deserve!
Therefore, if you change your attitude and start to believe deep down, in the core of your being, that you’re lovable and a prize who deserve only the best, your vibe will automatically shift.
Men will feel that you are grounded in self-love and high self-esteem.
That’s why it’s crucial to get to know yourself well and to realize which deep beliefs you have about yourself and which voices in your head you listen to, so you can change them.
Maybe your beliefs and previous experiences are working against you and blocking love from coming to you.
Our past is not our destiny. We can change this all around.
I know you can do this!
Be brave enough to uncover yourself; remove all the layers of protection, all the defenses and anything that is preventing you from speaking your truth clearly and without fear.
Always remember you can’t hide the vibration of your true feelings. Allow yourself to stay connected to what you really feel and be confident enough to share it with your man.
Therefore embrace your vulnerability and let your soul be seen.
Speak your truth. Always!
P.S. If you want to get more love advice from me and connect with other ladies who are also learning the new things about dating and relationships, join us in private Facebook group “Love With Ease”.
Everything you post there is highly confidential.
I would love to hear more about you and connect with you more.
Lots of love,
If you are feeling anxious because your man has suddenly stopped calling, or has even ignored your messages after you reached out to him…
If you went on the first date with a new guy you like very much and you believe it all went well, but it’s been a week and he still hasn’t called you…
I understand how you feel. I’ve been there.
You may feel anxious, confused, worried and scared that you are going to lose him. You may feel insecure and almost desperate.
It doesn’t have to be like that!
We need to shift your vibe straight away because feeling insecure, scared or anxious will just make things worse! I’m sure we can fix this right now!
THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IN THE FOLLOWING DAYS:
HERE IS WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T DO IN THIS SITUATION:
Giving attention to yourself and your life will help you reduce his importance. Man can sense when we feel needy or desperate. You need to feel lit up from the inside.
Whenever you ‘re thinking too much about any man and focus your energy and attention on him, you are stepping forward to him. Hence, you’re taking away his space to come to you. You are not in a receiving mode!
It doesn’t matter why is he pulling away; maybe he is thinking about his next step in your relationship, maybe he is thinking are you the right person for him, maybe it is just a part of your relationship timeline. Maybe he is just not the right person for you! It doesn’t matter why and don’t waste tine wondering why!
Men have the need to pull away from time to time. That is their thing. They are like a rubber band. They came to us as close as they can and then they have a need to pull back.
The reasons why he has pulled away, aren’t as important as your reaction to his withdrawing which is crucial in creating attraction or pushing him away even further.
If he IS the right person and just needs some space and time, the most important thing for you to do in order to get a good outcome is to do the steps I just described.
Finally, always remember you can’t push away a man that is right for you,
P.S. If you want to get more love advice from me and connect with other ladies who are also learning some new things about dating and relationships, join us in private Facebook group “Love With Ease”.
Everything you post there is highly confidential.
Here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/277358435991748
I would love to support you more.
Lots of love,
If you approach online dating as a way to open up to the world and get some new experiences, rather than a way to “Find Mr. Right“, you’ll have a much more relaxed and attractive vibe.
If you’ll go on a date out of curiosity with a “Let me see what is out there“ attitude, you’ll be approaching dating with so much less pressure.
Online dating is becoming more and more popular nowadays because very often we are so busy and don’t have much time to visit places where we could meet some new people.
Finding someone online helps us to meet new people very fastly.
It is the best to go on the dates in order to have fun and enjoy the present moment in a company of a new man. Eliminate being results oriented and having a strict attitude.
If you’ve read my free report and other blogs on this page, then you’ve heard all about the importance of being open, smiling, leaning back, acting out of feminine energy, talking in “Feeling Statements“ and trusting your vibe.
If all of those concepts are new for you, online dating can help you to practice and incorporate it into your life.
Online dating can actually have a healing effect on your life, like a free therapy . It can become an activity where you can observe all the old patterns of your behavior. The patterns that haven’t worked for you so far in the past. Now is a right moment to change them into the ones that will bring you the great results.
It all starts by observing how we feel in a company of each guy we date. It starts by observing our thoughts, catching nasty voices and triggers if they show up.
After we catch some nasty voice or when we are being triggered, we shall feel happy we caught it. Now is the time when we can bring it to the light of awareness and embrace, accept and love that, unloved or unaccepted part of us.
I mentioned: “Trusting Your Vibe.“ What is the vibe?
Your vibe is an energy that you radiate into the world. It consists of all of the thoughts, beliefs, and feelings you have about yourself. For example, if before the date you felt insecure. When your date started, you still felt a bit insecure but you try to cover it with a lot of talking.
The truth is that men can feel it! They are very sensitive to our vibe!
There is nothing wrong in feeling insecure sometimes while it is wrong to resist it and not allowing yourself to feel it.
You need to acknowledge the feeling and embrace it.
Before you even show up on the date, catch and notice what kind of attitudes and beliefs you have about yourself and about men and dating in general.
Do you believe “I am never going to find love and all men are bad?“ “Why shall I bother, this one will disappoint me and will disappear, they all do?“ or “I’m not pretty enough nor interesting enough?“, or “I feel fat in this shirt?,” or “I always attract losers?,“ or “Men are interested only in sex?,“ “Love is just not meant to happen to me?,“ or ” I feel so nervous about this date, will he like me?”or “I’m not good at this dating thing?” and similar thoughts…..?
Don’t worry if you thought some of those thoughts before. I heard many of those from my clients, so you are not the only one.
Believing that kind of thoughts doesn’t serve you!
Your thoughts and feelings are there with you in your vibe so it’s very important to observe every little thought and feeling that comes to you.
Be thrilled when you catch one, give it love and remind yourself of your own value. Redirect yourself immediately to higher energy thoughts.
So here are some very powerful things you can say to yourself that will make ALL THE DIFFERENCE:
The best attitudes you can have about yourself are always positive such as:
Use online dating for practicing new tools and attitudes, openness and warmth.
That will help you to change your vibe.
It can also help you to realize what kind of men are you attracting, and what kind of men attracts you. You will be able to realize if there is any pattern here.
Observe men as MESSENGERS who are here to show you where you stand in the process of loving yourself. They can help you discover which hidden patterns of behavior you haven’t noticed yet.
If a man you’re attracting is often angry, ask yourself, do you have inside anger you aren’t allowing yourself to feel?
If a man you’re attracting is very needy, ask yourself, is there any needy part of you that is longing for your attention?
If a man you are attracting is ignoring you, ask yourself, is there any part of yourself that is being neglected or ignored by you?
People around us are reflections of our own inner state and men are the best mirrors you can have. Experience online dating as a chance to take a look at yourself!
Any time you meet a new man ask yourself, what is the message he has for me?
If he isn’t behaving lovingly towards you, ask yourself, which parts of myself do I need to love more? What do you don’t love about yourself?
Send love to all your feelings and thoughts, embrace your anger and insecurities and any icky feeling that shows up.
When you start to love yourself more, you’ll attract men who will want to love you as well.
And at the end, one of the greatest benefits of online dating is that it always gives you a feeling that you have other options which is crucial for not becoming needy or desperate about that new great guy you’ve just recently met.
You don’t want to become exclusive with anyone without a serious commitment from his side.
Online dating is CRUCIAL and it is the most important tool you can do for yourself in order to get the greatest results in your love life.
I described here just a few amazing benefits of online dating.
I say hurry up and go straight to at least three online dating websites!
Get your profile there! You need to practice your new way of being with many men so don’t set limits based on physical looks or first impression.
Go deeper than that and give a chance to the guys who are genuine and nice, even if you don’t feel attracted to them straight away.
Online dating is an act of self- love and self- care if you approach it by being process oriented instead of results oriented.
Go and explore and experience what is out there!
You’ll do yourself an amazing favor which will tremendously improve your love life, baby step by baby step!
Sometimes, being a girlfriend isn’t in your best interest if you’re looking for a long term commitment.
You believe that accepting the exclusivity straight away will be the first step to “happily ever after”.
But men don’t think that way!
It doesn’t matter if you’ve seen your man for a few months or a few years, in his eyes you two are dating.
Many women believe that if he introduces you to his family or his friends or, if he has been dating you for a long time, it means your relationship is becoming more serious.
Unfortunately, that’s not true!
Your man believes that until the moment he proposes you, you two are just dating!
Let me give an example for this.
You’ve been seeing a guy for a few months and you really like him. You accepted the title of “girlfriend” and the promise of exclusivity. The problem is that he isn’t calling you as much as you would like, and he’s not seeing you as often as you would like.
It feels like something is missing.
Very often you find yourself thinking about him and wondering if you should stay with him or find someone else. You have strong feelings for him, but it feels as if he isn’t giving you his full attention. For a few days, he is showering you with all his love and affection, and then a couple of days afterward he becomes totally silent. He is acting hot and cold.
You feel scared to tell him that you aren’t happy with his hot and cold behavior. You don’t want to sound needy or desperate.
You start to wonder did you do something wrong to provoke this hot and cold behavior?
I understand how that feels, I’ve been there and we can fix this!
Guys who aren’t steady in expressing their affection and interest can be so draining and not fun. They can make us feel insecure and unimportant and often very confused.
You don’t have much from a guy who calls you one time per week or sees you a few times per month!
What do you do in a situation like this? Is the only solution to leave him and find someone else? Or do you stay with the same behavior in hopes that something may change in the future?
The solution to this is very simple!
If you’re longing for a long term relationship, you shouldn’t allow yourself to become exclusive too soon with anyone. If a marriage is what you want then you shouldn’t become exclusive with anyone until marriage is on the table.
Having fun, going out on many dates, but being intimate with just one guy is the solution!
In order to keep yourself sane and not becoming needy, the best thing to do is not to allow yourself to fall into “a girlfriend trap“.
If you are looking for a long term committed relationship, then it’s for the best to keep your options open until the right guy, who really wants you, claims you by proposing to you.
A period of three or four months is enough to see whether the guy makes you feel great.
If during that period he does his job of meeting your needs well, seeing you at least two times per week, calling you regularly in between, asking you out on dates and you feel really good, then it is okay to continue like that.
If he doesn’t do his job well, and you start to feel insecure and needy by being with him in an exclusive relationship, this is what you can tell him:
“I feel great dating you and I feel awesome in your company, but I don’t want to be a girlfriend. I am looking for someone who I can walk into the sunset with. I am looking for a committed relationship and for someone who is truly here for me. I don’t want to put any pressure on you or on our relationship so I would like to keep my options open by going out on coffee dates with other men“.
If the marriage is what you want, you can share this kind of a speech when you are with a man who doesn’t claim you after around a year of dating him.
Until the moment he proposes you, a man doesn’t feel any real commitment to you.
By allowing yourself to be his girlfriend, you’re at his mercy (at the mercy of his free time, at the mercy of his feelings and decisions etc), and you cut all your options without being sure of the outcome of the relationship.
You are becoming dependent on his behavior, and he has so much control!
That’s why it is crucial to allow yourself to date other men, going for coffee dates or drinks, or going for a walk with different types of men.
By dating other men and keeping your options open, you’ll never allow yourself to become dependent on the outcome of a particular situation with just one man.
The same moment you open an online profile and start to receive messages from many different men, you’ll start to feel so much more relaxed.
You’ll experience having other options.
You’ll start to talk with other men via texts and you’ll immediately feel how much until now you’ve been energetically focused on your man. That extreme focus is very often a reason why he hasn’t come closer to you.
Leaning forward behavior often pushes a man away; and by dating just one man, you can easily start leaning forward and becoming desperate or too dependable.
Going on dates with different men will immediately make you see a bigger picture of possibility instead of enforcing a laser focus on just one man.
Even your man will immediately start to feel that your vibe has shifted and that you aren’t so hung up on him.
Online dating is the best remedy for shifting our vibe straight away and healing ourselves which I will describe more briefly in one of my next blog posts.