I remember a few years ago someone told me that “Our Vibe Speak Louder Then Our Words”.
I remember back then I understood that; whenever we feel good. positive and energetic, we spread good vibes to people around us and to the universe.
What does it really mean to shift our vibe? When is our vibe actually speaking something that we aren’t saying? We are all so good at pretending and such good actors. We believe that it is much better to hide the truth sometimes and to stay in our comfort zone and not to rock the boat of the relationship.
Pretending, acting, lying, being defensive, stuffing things down, trying to please others on our own cost or not being able to say “no“ to a man will just push a man away.
Let me give you an example.
Imagine you’re feeling angry because a man you are dating is late for a date and that isn’t the first time. You don’t want to evoke an argument or a fight so you just smile and act like nothing happened. Even though you’re sitting there with a big smile on your face, he can feel, in your vibe, in your energy field, that something is off.
He actually feels uncomfortable sitting there with you. He feels the tension in the air even though he doesn’t know why. You didn’t say anything to him, but still, your vibe is communicating that you aren’t happy about something.
How can you shift your vibe in a situation like this?
It can happen simply by being authentic, expressing your truth in the moment without attacking a man or making him wrong. It’s about expressing how you feel and asking him what he thinks about it.
A woman who is strong and confident enough to tell her truth in any situation is very attractive to a man. A woman who is able to feel her feelings and express them in each moment, simple and authentic as they show up, is a magnet to a man.
If you have felt angry, you should allow yourself to feel angry and acknowledge and accept it . Embrace that feeling and take full responsibility for it!
When he comes to you, you can share with him that you feel angry and that you don’t like waiting and ask him what he thinks you two should do? The most important thing here is to owe your own anger without attacking him or acting out of it.
Shifting your vibe at any moment is a skill you can learn by practicing it baby step by baby step.
It is crucial to recognize moments in which your vibe is changing. Moments in which you start to feel needy, desperate or similar. You can stop those moments by redirecting your thoughts to more positive ones.
You Need To Trust Your Vibe Because Energy Never Lies!
In order to have a good vibe, it is also necessary to do all in your power to feel good about yourself.
In addition, shifting your vibe is very much about the attitude you have toward yourself.
Do you believe deep inside yourself that you’re lovable? Do you believe that you deserve love and fulfilling and wonderful relationship?
What are your beliefs about men and relationships? Do you think that all the good men are taken and that you will never attract a good man for yourself?
Do you believe that you’re attractive to all men around you? Are you a crumb taker, a doormat type of woman? Or do you believe that you are a prize he has to win?
All the beliefs you have about yourself are with you in your energy field; in your vibe, and you are carrying them with you where ever you go.
Whatever you believe about yourself deep down, you will attract in the outside world!
If you don’t value yourself and don’t believe that you deserve a great partner, you will attract a man who will not treat you well because deep down you believe that you don’t deserve anyone better than that. Your vibe attracts your tribe!
We get the love we think we deserve!
Therefore, if you change your attitude and start to believe deep down, in the core of your being, that you’re lovable and a prize who deserve only the best, your vibe will automatically shift.
Men will feel that you are grounded in self-love and high self-esteem.
That’s why it’s crucial to get to know yourself well and to realize which deep beliefs you have about yourself and which voices in your head you listen to, so you can change them.
Maybe your beliefs and previous experiences are working against you and blocking love from coming to you.
Our past is not our destiny. We can change this all around.
I know you can do this!
Be brave enough to uncover yourself; remove all the layers of protection, all the defenses and anything that is preventing you from speaking your truth clearly and without fear.
Always remember you can’t hide the vibration of your true feelings. Allow yourself to stay connected to what you really feel and be confident enough to share it with your man.
Therefore embrace your vulnerability and let your soul be seen.
Speak your truth. Always!
P.S. If you want to get more love advice from me and connect with other ladies who are also learning the new things about dating and relationships, join us in private Facebook group “Love With Ease”.
Everything you post there is highly confidential.
I would love to hear more about you and connect with you more.
Lots of love,
How do we know if a man is “the one” for us or if we should continue our search?
Yesterday I watched a movie “Beauty and a briefcase” and it inspired me to write this post.
A lady in a movie had a checklist of what her perfect man should be like.
That made me think about the checklists that we are consciously or subconsciously creating while relating to men.
You have probably experienced how it felt once when you met a guy who fit perfectly to your list of demands but still, a relationship wasn’t that successful.
He suddenly becomes colder and colder or maybe tells you he wants to be “just friends”.
So why a checklist doesn’t work as the criteria to choose a right man for us?
Why does it happen that even though some man fits 8/10 on your list, but still the two of you go separate ways?
What if I tell you that all of those checklist things have nothing to do with attraction and connection and are very superficial?
The only criteria in picking a right man should be HOW DOES HE MAKES YOU FEEL WHEN YOU ARE WITH HIM AND EVEN WHEN YOU ARE NOT WITH HIM.
Do you feel loved and very important to him and as if you are receiving his energy or you feel drained, empty or anxious?
Does he make you feel secure and loved when you are together by constantly fulfilling your needs but also when you are not together by texting you, calling you and giving you an attention you deserve ON REGULAR BASIS AND CONTINUOUSLY?
Does he keep you wondering if you are important for him or does he show you with his actions HOW MUCH important you are to him?
And the second very important thing is to notice IS HE A WILLING STUDENT; willing to learn HOW to keep making you happy.
You can observe whether he is focused only on his self and not interested in your true needs.
Is he taking care of you only after he took care of all the rest in his life such as his job, family, friends, social activities and so on?
Or is he putting you, your needs and a relationship success as a priority in his life?
His beautiful blue eyes and cute face will not be of any use to you if he makes you feel insecure when he doesn’t contact you for days or makes you feel confused and unloved if he is acting hot and cold.
You need a man who will show you with his actions how special you are to him all the time.
A man who will not forget you and will always put your needs first.
A man who will not be wishy-washy and who will not keep you wondering where you stand in his life.
My dear ladies, in order to make better use of your man picker you need from today onwards, CHOOSE TO BE AROUND ONLY MEN WHOSE ENERGY IS COMING TO YOU and the ones that treat you as a priority and not the 46th item on his list.
He is interested in who you truly are as a person.
He is putting you first, asking about how you feel and how your day went and is interested in your feelings and wishes.
He is really doing his best to GIVE to you and do things that make you happy.
The opposite of that is a man who is trying TO GET something from you, a needy or immature kind of a man whose ability to make you happy is actually very small.
A man who wants YOU to make him happy.
Trust me, you don’t want to be with a man like that! Even if he is smart and very handsome, belongs to the same church and makes you laugh and is very charming. 🙂
He can’t be the right man for you if he makes you feel bad, insecure and anxious about his next step.
Remember, it is all about HOW HE MAKES YOU FEEL when you are with him and when you are not with him and IS HE A WILLING STUDENT; willing to LEARN how to keep making you happy.
To Your Succes In Love,
Every person has masculine and feminine energy. Most men are mainly acting out of masculine energy.
Masculine energy is connected with thinking, giving, doing, managing, advising, planning, leading, organizing and so on.
We women are also using masculine energy while doing our everyday duties on our job, working on our projects, leading our businesses and earning money.
In our relationships with men, we started to act too often out of masculine energy and that is wrong! It has brought a lot of confusion into relationships because your man wants a woman and not another man!
Women have started acting like men!
Nowadays you can often see us chasing them, sending messages first or calling them, buying them drinks, asking them out, organizing things in a relationship, making plans, controlling men, trying to manage them and so on.
No wonder this kind of behavior doesn’t bring good results!
In a romantic relationship, it is very important to decide do we want to act from feminine or masculine energy.
Feminine energy is about feeling, being, receiving, intuiting, allowing, responding, following, expressing and so on.
A man wants a woman who is warm and soft and who can listen to him. He wants a woman who doesn’t need to control or manage him. He wants a woman who RESPECTS him.
Respect is the most important thing for a man and when we try to control him he doesn’t feel respected.
A man wants a woman who is able to feel and able to express her feelings easily and clearly without being emotional or needy or a drama queen. A woman who is easy to be with!
Therefore, while we are with a man we should let him be a leader while we act from feminine energy. It’s not possible to dance if both partners are leading. Let him lead! That will ignite your romance.
Hence, how can us women connect more with our feminine energy and act out of it while relating to men?
The first step is to be present in our body and to be able to feel.
A woman needs to start acknowledging her feelings and expressing it to a man by simply starting the sentence with “I feel ….“
Our basic feeling statements would be “I feel happy“, “I feel sad“, “I feel angry“, “I feel scared“, “I feel glad“, “I feel warm“, “I feel cold“ and so on.
Finding a feeling in every moment and simply expressing it will result in connecting your heart to his heart. Heart to heart connection is the most important thing in a romance.
Opening our hearts to a man is powerful and that is the only way he can fall in love with us. The process starts with us opening up to him so he can open up to us as well.
He will feel safe with us when we are being authentic and vulnerable. A connection will happen when we start sharing our truth straight from our heart.
Man needs to feel safe with us in order to fall in love. And he needs to feel thrilled.
Any mature masculine man wants naturally to give you his love, his affection, his gifts, his time and interest and he wants everything to be his idea.
He wants to invite you to go with him to different places, to initiate calls and to lead.
The problem happens when a woman is trying to manage a relationship and lead it, in the same way, she is leading, planning, organizing or managing her business. We can’t apply the same behavior in our love life!
The business world and romance world are different.
In love, it is necessary to act from feminine energy.We need to let go of control!
Most of all, we need to stop ourselves before attempting to do any masculine activities like trying to lead and manage the relationship.
Most relevant is to stop ourselves when we want to manage him, criticize, complain, give him advice or suggestions or when we want to initiate anything, offer favors or offer anything. Stop that immediately if you have been doing this until this moment!
All those things are very controlling and men shut down when we do it and they become resentful.
Very often they get angry at us without being aware that they are angry. They feel that we are trying to control and manipulate them and they don’t like it. They lose attraction towards us without even knowing why.
Instead of controlling behavior we will choose to use “Feeling Statements“.
When we really stop doing all those controlling behaviors, there will be a lot of silence in our conversations with him. He will feel something has changed about us and that our vibe is different. He will notice that we are much easier to be with.
He will finally feel free to relax in our own company and he will be able to breathe freely.
And then, he will have a chance to step towards us and to truly hear us as we have started to express ourselves in feeling statements.
We will be stepping back all the time so he can step forwards.
It is like in the dance. One has to step back so another can step forward. Controlling behavior is very stepping forward behavior and we want to avoid that by all means.
Acting from our feminine energy means always leaning back which brings harmony to the relationship.
Removing all our controlling behavior from a relationship brings peace and joy to our man and all men we are interacting with. Once when we have removed all controlling behavior, man can come to us and shower us with his love and affection.
Being authentic, open and vulnerable and letting go of control doesn’t sound like the easiest thing to do when you first hear about it.
When you’ll start to practice it baby step by baby step you’ll feel more and more confident to be yourself.
Choose to act from your feminine energy, lean back and put yourself and your feelings first.The results that you will get very soon will amaze you!
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I would love to support you more.
Lots of love,
Have you ever experienced situations in which you were not happy with your man’s behavior but were tolerating it without saying a word?
You were too afraid that you will scare him if you say something? So you rather stuffed it down?
What do I mean by man’s bad behavior?
I am talking about small things in a relationship that don’t make us women feel good. The lack of respect and caring. Unconsiderable, too selfish or ignorant behavior.
Maybe even toxic behavior where he says some nasty words to you which I hope is not the case.
For example, a man asks you often to drive to him even though he can drive to you.
Or maybe sometimes when you two are messaging it takes hours before he replies. You know that he could reply before if he wanted and that is bothering you. Yet still, you don’t say anything.
A man who asks you out on a date and then keeps canceling at the last minute.
A man who talks about his ex on the first date and you really don’t want to hear about it.
A man who never says that he is sorry and so on.
There are endless examples of this.
When we are tolerating a bad behavior, it is like we are saying to a man that it is okay to treat us like that.
At the beginning of the relationship, men will test you to see how much you can put up with.
A woman who knows her value and her high worth does not tolerate! She either accepts or rejects.
That is the kind of woman I want you, dear reader, to become! A Goddess type a woman. A Diva kind of woman!
A woman who knows what she wants and what she feels and who is strong from the inside.
It is very important, even when you aren’t happy with some behavior, to express yourself in a soft and a feminine way. That means by using feeling statements and without attacking or controlling a man.
I know you can do this! Ask yourself in your current relationship, are you tolerating something?
Women don’t want to be selfish or mean. They want to be nice and kind in all situation and avoid the conflict.
That is the main reason they sometimes don’t feel brave enough to share how they truly feel.
They want to be liked by a man. They feel very scared he will get mad or leave them.
They feel so afraid to lose a man that they rather ignore things that need to be addressed the same moment they happened.
Never be afraid to loose a man because you were intolerant to bad behavior. When we ignore the small things, they grow!
If you don’t express your truth and repress it. hiding it and sit on it, those emotions will start to control you. You will be less and less happy during the time.
Very soon your emotions will start to control you to the extent that you will start to act out of it.
You should never act out of emotions because that will only make things worse.
There is a huge difference between expressing emotions in a feminine way and acting out of it.
Acting out of emotions means being totally controlled by them.
If you read my other blogs, I write a lot about how to express yourself in a way that a man can hear and understand. In a way which is not controlling and without attacking him or making him wrong.
During the process of dating, you will meet many men who will vanish or will not be a good match.
Every time you will stand for yourself and speak your truth, you will feel more and more powerful. With every “no” you say to a man, you will feel as you are sticking by your highest value. You will be so proud of yourself and you will respect and love yourself even more.
As a result of all that, you will attract a better quality man.
The truth is that men actually lose attraction for a woman who does everything they want. A woman who puts up with everything and is okay with whatever he does.
If you tolerate this kind of little things and try to please him by all means, it will actually push him away. He will realize that you actually don’t value yourself much! You are putting him first instead of putting yourself first.
Always feel free to say ” This is not working for me”, or “I don’t want to do this”, or “This doesn’t feel good”, or “I don’t feel comfortable with men who are late on dates” and so on.
Every time when you will stay grounded and firm in your values and standards, you will feel great and strong.
Start by observing what you really feel and what you really want in any particular situation. When you feel triggered you need to slow down and really investigate yourself and become a detective of yourself. Notice what is really happening with you at a particular moment. Discover what you truly feel and what you truly want and express in a way previously described.
As a result of this, you will succeed to love and value yourself even more. You will radiate confidence, strength, and high self-respect.
You will attract a man who will want to love you and value you in the same amount that you love and value yourself.
I wish you success in achieving this and to always be awake to catch when something doesn’t feel good and to be able to express it in a peaceful, feminine, free and untriggered way without acting out of feelings.
P.S. If you want to get more love advice from me and connect with other ladies who are also learning some new things about dating and relationships, join us in private Facebook group “Love With Ease”.
Everything you post there is highly confidential.
Here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/277358435991748
I would love to support you more.
Lots of love,
Sometimes, being a girlfriend isn’t in your best interest if you’re looking for a long term commitment.
You believe that accepting the exclusivity straight away will be the first step to “happily ever after”.
But men don’t think that way!
It doesn’t matter if you’ve seen your man for a few months or a few years, in his eyes you two are dating.
Many women believe that if he introduces you to his family or his friends or, if he has been dating you for a long time, it means your relationship is becoming more serious.
Unfortunately, that’s not true!
Your man believes that until the moment he proposes you, you two are just dating!
Let me give an example for this.
You’ve been seeing a guy for a few months and you really like him. You accepted the title of “girlfriend” and the promise of exclusivity. The problem is that he isn’t calling you as much as you would like, and he’s not seeing you as often as you would like.
It feels like something is missing.
Very often you find yourself thinking about him and wondering if you should stay with him or find someone else. You have strong feelings for him, but it feels as if he isn’t giving you his full attention. For a few days, he is showering you with all his love and affection, and then a couple of days afterward he becomes totally silent. He is acting hot and cold.
You feel scared to tell him that you aren’t happy with his hot and cold behavior. You don’t want to sound needy or desperate.
You start to wonder did you do something wrong to provoke this hot and cold behavior?
I understand how that feels, I’ve been there and we can fix this!
Guys who aren’t steady in expressing their affection and interest can be so draining and not fun. They can make us feel insecure and unimportant and often very confused.
You don’t have much from a guy who calls you one time per week or sees you a few times per month!
What do you do in a situation like this? Is the only solution to leave him and find someone else? Or do you stay with the same behavior in hopes that something may change in the future?
The solution to this is very simple!
If you’re longing for a long term relationship, you shouldn’t allow yourself to become exclusive too soon with anyone. If a marriage is what you want then you shouldn’t become exclusive with anyone until marriage is on the table.
Having fun, going out on many dates, but being intimate with just one guy is the solution!
In order to keep yourself sane and not becoming needy, the best thing to do is not to allow yourself to fall into “a girlfriend trap“.
If you are looking for a long term committed relationship, then it’s for the best to keep your options open until the right guy, who really wants you, claims you by proposing to you.
A period of three or four months is enough to see whether the guy makes you feel great.
If during that period he does his job of meeting your needs well, seeing you at least two times per week, calling you regularly in between, asking you out on dates and you feel really good, then it is okay to continue like that.
If he doesn’t do his job well, and you start to feel insecure and needy by being with him in an exclusive relationship, this is what you can tell him:
“I feel great dating you and I feel awesome in your company, but I don’t want to be a girlfriend. I am looking for someone who I can walk into the sunset with. I am looking for a committed relationship and for someone who is truly here for me. I don’t want to put any pressure on you or on our relationship so I would like to keep my options open by going out on coffee dates with other men“.
If the marriage is what you want, you can share this kind of a speech when you are with a man who doesn’t claim you after around a year of dating him.
Until the moment he proposes you, a man doesn’t feel any real commitment to you.
By allowing yourself to be his girlfriend, you’re at his mercy (at the mercy of his free time, at the mercy of his feelings and decisions etc), and you cut all your options without being sure of the outcome of the relationship.
You are becoming dependent on his behavior, and he has so much control!
That’s why it is crucial to allow yourself to date other men, going for coffee dates or drinks, or going for a walk with different types of men.
By dating other men and keeping your options open, you’ll never allow yourself to become dependent on the outcome of a particular situation with just one man.
The same moment you open an online profile and start to receive messages from many different men, you’ll start to feel so much more relaxed.
You’ll experience having other options.
You’ll start to talk with other men via texts and you’ll immediately feel how much until now you’ve been energetically focused on your man. That extreme focus is very often a reason why he hasn’t come closer to you.
Leaning forward behavior often pushes a man away; and by dating just one man, you can easily start leaning forward and becoming desperate or too dependable.
Going on dates with different men will immediately make you see a bigger picture of possibility instead of enforcing a laser focus on just one man.
Even your man will immediately start to feel that your vibe has shifted and that you aren’t so hung up on him.
Online dating is the best remedy for shifting our vibe straight away and healing ourselves which I will describe more briefly in one of my next blog posts.