“If you need to ask yourself where you stand with someone very often, maybe it is time to stop standing and start walking.”
One of the ways in which you can “start walking” is definitely SIM dating which is one of the fundamental concepts of Love With Ease coaching system.
SIM dating means simultaneously dating more than one man.
If you don’t like going to clubs and you don’t have many social activities to attend, online dating is the best solution for you to arrange dates. It is also great to check out “meetup activities” in your city because that is also a great option to meet new people.
Even if you DO have a very active social life and have been invited to many dates, there are never too many invitations and offers.
I want you to feel very abundant regarding your possibilities.
Don’t get yourself stuck on just one person, who is maybe far away from the idea of making you his wife. Even if he has been dating you for a while now.
Choose a few of your best photos, upload them on at least 2 or 3 online dating profiles and then just wait for your messages and invitations to dates.
It is that simple and it will help you not to get stuck on that one man who kept you wondering is he serious about you or not!
Of course, you stay sexually exclusive with just one of the guys but you accept invitations to coffee dates and walks from other guys as well.
Until you don’t have a ring on your finger, you need to keep your options open.
Guys don’t feel any kind of commitment to you until they don’t propose to you even if you are exclusive. They are just dating you.
Even if you have been together for years.
They can change their minds at any time and you need to protect yourself by having other options and in this way, keeping your vibe high.
Even if you feel very much in love with one of them.
In that case, you should be SIM dating even more.
I know that it might sound shocking when you hear it for the first time but in the most cases it a necessity.
Don’t be lazy and don’t make excuses for yourself why you are not dating at the moment and why you don’t have time for it.
We always find time for things that are important for us.
You need to free time for dating in your dairy if long-term success in love is your goal.
Leave emotions out of the first phases of dating and observe man’s actions very objectively.
Lean back and check his actions rather than his words. Only by leaning back will you be able to notice what he truly has to offer and is
Only by leaning back you will be able to notice what he truly has to offer and is he capable leading the relationship.
If you are very interested in a guy, wait as long as possible to sleep with him.
Spend time to observe objectively how much of his time, energy and feelings is he ready to invest in you and is stepping up. Your only job is to observe his actions and his level of investment.
You can keep him as one of the guys you are seeing but please don’t keep wishy-washy or hot and cold guy as your only option because that is a recipe for your emotional disaster.
It is time to start walking my dear if he keeps making you wondering where you stand with him.
P.S. If you want to get more love advice from me and connect with other ladies who are also learning some new things about dating and relationships, join us in private Facebook group “Love With Ease”.
Everything you post there is highly confidential.
I would love to connect with you more in my Facebook group.
Lots of love,
I remember around four years ago when I first heard about the system of tools that I am teaching today, I was practicing it on my own.
I was dating a few guys at the same time, which I today call SIM dating as an abbreviation for simultaneously dating more than one guy at the same time.
One evening I met a new guy who left a great first impression on me. He picked up the great place, we had a lot to talk about and it was a perfect evening.
After our date, he told me to text him if I was interested in continuing dating him. It was a red flag for me and I thought “Why is he asking me this?“.
I didn’t feel totally comfortable with that but I remembered that I learned that if a man asks you to do something then it is not masculine energy and leaning forward. During that time I was really practicing being in my feminine energy and leaning back.
I was feeling a bit nervous and excited that night so I didn’t know what to reply but today I would say “I like when a man contacts me first. What do you think?“.
Anyways, I did contact him the next day with a nice feeling statement message and he replied that he will be happy to see me and that he will plan something and call me.
I know it maybe doesn’t look like a big thing because it was just one date, but it was a big thing for me because I thought he was special and I gave him a much more importance that he actually deserved.
It is all in our head when we make some man special from the start even though it is a way too early to jump into that conclusion because he didn’t support it with action. It is what I call “an imaginary picture about a guy“ which then leads to “an imaginary relationship“ where you got yourself invested in a guy way too early.
So I always advise my ladies to treat all the guys that they are SIM dating EQUALLY. Not making one better or more important than another, and rather staying objective and watching their actions.
Let me go back to the story.
I remember around day six, I was feeling so disappointed and had an urge to text him. I was thinking that he is maybe a kind of a guy who needs a little help from my side to realize that I like him. And I was thinking if I do not text him than some other lady will!
Luckily I promised to myself that I will follow this system and one of the boundaries which I was practicing was not to initiate contact at the beginning of a relationship. My choice was rather getting more active on online dating websites and redirecting my energy towards other guys.
That felt really hard for but I stuck to it!
I remember that night on the sixth day I ended up on a date with one of the other guys I was seeing at the same time and wow, that really helped me forget about this guy but still not totally.
During the next few days, I was really active on online dating profiles and went on a few more dates and that all help me to let go of the man who obviously wasn’t interested enough.
I succeeded to observe his lack of effort as a turn-off rather than a call for a more action from my side.
After that sixth and seventh-day crisis, it was much easier to overcome the urge to text him.
Finally, on the 12th day when I already let go of him energetically, he came back and I received his message where he was explaining how he was ill and had food poisoning and was even at a hospital for a few days.
Only when I stopped obsessing about him and making him too important, was he able to come to me!
This blog is already too long to continue writing what happen next with this man but I will rather choose to share what I gained from this experience:
I hope you learned something from this.
Have you ever experienced obsessing about a man and not receiving his texts and then when you forget about him, here he comes?
Have you ever had a hard time wanting to contact him but knowing that you shouldn’t?
Lots of Love,
If you approach online dating as a way to open up to the world and get some new experiences, rather than a way to “Find Mr. Right“, you’ll have a much more relaxed and attractive vibe.
If you’ll go on a date out of curiosity with a “Let me see what is out there“ attitude, you’ll be approaching dating with so much less pressure.
Online dating is becoming more and more popular nowadays because very often we are so busy and don’t have much time to visit places where we could meet some new people.
Finding someone online helps us to meet new people very fastly.
It is the best to go on the dates in order to have fun and enjoy the present moment in a company of a new man. Eliminate being results oriented and having a strict attitude.
If you’ve read my free report and other blogs on this page, then you’ve heard all about the importance of being open, smiling, leaning back, acting out of feminine energy, talking in “Feeling Statements“ and trusting your vibe.
If all of those concepts are new for you, online dating can help you to practice and incorporate it into your life.
Online dating can actually have a healing effect on your life, like a free therapy . It can become an activity where you can observe all the old patterns of your behavior. The patterns that haven’t worked for you so far in the past. Now is a right moment to change them into the ones that will bring you the great results.
It all starts by observing how we feel in a company of each guy we date. It starts by observing our thoughts, catching nasty voices and triggers if they show up.
After we catch some nasty voice or when we are being triggered, we shall feel happy we caught it. Now is the time when we can bring it to the light of awareness and embrace, accept and love that, unloved or unaccepted part of us.
I mentioned: “Trusting Your Vibe.“ What is the vibe?
Your vibe is an energy that you radiate into the world. It consists of all of the thoughts, beliefs, and feelings you have about yourself. For example, if before the date you felt insecure. When your date started, you still felt a bit insecure but you try to cover it with a lot of talking.
The truth is that men can feel it! They are very sensitive to our vibe!
There is nothing wrong in feeling insecure sometimes while it is wrong to resist it and not allowing yourself to feel it.
You need to acknowledge the feeling and embrace it.
Before you even show up on the date, catch and notice what kind of attitudes and beliefs you have about yourself and about men and dating in general.
Do you believe “I am never going to find love and all men are bad?“ “Why shall I bother, this one will disappoint me and will disappear, they all do?“ or “I’m not pretty enough nor interesting enough?“, or “I feel fat in this shirt?,” or “I always attract losers?,“ or “Men are interested only in sex?,“ “Love is just not meant to happen to me?,“ or ” I feel so nervous about this date, will he like me?”or “I’m not good at this dating thing?” and similar thoughts…..?
Don’t worry if you thought some of those thoughts before. I heard many of those from my clients, so you are not the only one.
Believing that kind of thoughts doesn’t serve you!
Your thoughts and feelings are there with you in your vibe so it’s very important to observe every little thought and feeling that comes to you.
Be thrilled when you catch one, give it love and remind yourself of your own value. Redirect yourself immediately to higher energy thoughts.
So here are some very powerful things you can say to yourself that will make ALL THE DIFFERENCE:
The best attitudes you can have about yourself are always positive such as:
Use online dating for practicing new tools and attitudes, openness and warmth.
That will help you to change your vibe.
It can also help you to realize what kind of men are you attracting, and what kind of men attracts you. You will be able to realize if there is any pattern here.
Observe men as MESSENGERS who are here to show you where you stand in the process of loving yourself. They can help you discover which hidden patterns of behavior you haven’t noticed yet.
If a man you’re attracting is often angry, ask yourself, do you have inside anger you aren’t allowing yourself to feel?
If a man you’re attracting is very needy, ask yourself, is there any needy part of you that is longing for your attention?
If a man you are attracting is ignoring you, ask yourself, is there any part of yourself that is being neglected or ignored by you?
People around us are reflections of our own inner state and men are the best mirrors you can have. Experience online dating as a chance to take a look at yourself!
Any time you meet a new man ask yourself, what is the message he has for me?
If he isn’t behaving lovingly towards you, ask yourself, which parts of myself do I need to love more? What do you don’t love about yourself?
Send love to all your feelings and thoughts, embrace your anger and insecurities and any icky feeling that shows up.
When you start to love yourself more, you’ll attract men who will want to love you as well.
And at the end, one of the greatest benefits of online dating is that it always gives you a feeling that you have other options which is crucial for not becoming needy or desperate about that new great guy you’ve just recently met.
You don’t want to become exclusive with anyone without a serious commitment from his side.
Online dating is CRUCIAL and it is the most important tool you can do for yourself in order to get the greatest results in your love life.
I described here just a few amazing benefits of online dating.
I say hurry up and go straight to at least three online dating websites!
Get your profile there! You need to practice your new way of being with many men so don’t set limits based on physical looks or first impression.
Go deeper than that and give a chance to the guys who are genuine and nice, even if you don’t feel attracted to them straight away.
Online dating is an act of self- love and self- care if you approach it by being process oriented instead of results oriented.
Go and explore and experience what is out there!
You’ll do yourself an amazing favor which will tremendously improve your love life, baby step by baby step!
Sometimes, being a girlfriend isn’t in your best interest if you’re looking for a long term commitment.
You believe that accepting the exclusivity straight away will be the first step to “happily ever after”.
But men don’t think that way!
It doesn’t matter if you’ve seen your man for a few months or a few years, in his eyes you two are dating.
Many women believe that if he introduces you to his family or his friends or, if he has been dating you for a long time, it means your relationship is becoming more serious.
Unfortunately, that’s not true!
Your man believes that until the moment he proposes you, you two are just dating!
Let me give an example for this.
You’ve been seeing a guy for a few months and you really like him. You accepted the title of “girlfriend” and the promise of exclusivity. The problem is that he isn’t calling you as much as you would like, and he’s not seeing you as often as you would like.
It feels like something is missing.
Very often you find yourself thinking about him and wondering if you should stay with him or find someone else. You have strong feelings for him, but it feels as if he isn’t giving you his full attention. For a few days, he is showering you with all his love and affection, and then a couple of days afterward he becomes totally silent. He is acting hot and cold.
You feel scared to tell him that you aren’t happy with his hot and cold behavior. You don’t want to sound needy or desperate.
You start to wonder did you do something wrong to provoke this hot and cold behavior?
I understand how that feels, I’ve been there and we can fix this!
Guys who aren’t steady in expressing their affection and interest can be so draining and not fun. They can make us feel insecure and unimportant and often very confused.
You don’t have much from a guy who calls you one time per week or sees you a few times per month!
What do you do in a situation like this? Is the only solution to leave him and find someone else? Or do you stay with the same behavior in hopes that something may change in the future?
The solution to this is very simple!
If you’re longing for a long term relationship, you shouldn’t allow yourself to become exclusive too soon with anyone. If a marriage is what you want then you shouldn’t become exclusive with anyone until marriage is on the table.
Having fun, going out on many dates, but being intimate with just one guy is the solution!
In order to keep yourself sane and not becoming needy, the best thing to do is not to allow yourself to fall into “a girlfriend trap“.
If you are looking for a long term committed relationship, then it’s for the best to keep your options open until the right guy, who really wants you, claims you by proposing to you.
A period of three or four months is enough to see whether the guy makes you feel great.
If during that period he does his job of meeting your needs well, seeing you at least two times per week, calling you regularly in between, asking you out on dates and you feel really good, then it is okay to continue like that.
If he doesn’t do his job well, and you start to feel insecure and needy by being with him in an exclusive relationship, this is what you can tell him:
“I feel great dating you and I feel awesome in your company, but I don’t want to be a girlfriend. I am looking for someone who I can walk into the sunset with. I am looking for a committed relationship and for someone who is truly here for me. I don’t want to put any pressure on you or on our relationship so I would like to keep my options open by going out on coffee dates with other men“.
If the marriage is what you want, you can share this kind of a speech when you are with a man who doesn’t claim you after around a year of dating him.
Until the moment he proposes you, a man doesn’t feel any real commitment to you.
By allowing yourself to be his girlfriend, you’re at his mercy (at the mercy of his free time, at the mercy of his feelings and decisions etc), and you cut all your options without being sure of the outcome of the relationship.
You are becoming dependent on his behavior, and he has so much control!
That’s why it is crucial to allow yourself to date other men, going for coffee dates or drinks, or going for a walk with different types of men.
By dating other men and keeping your options open, you’ll never allow yourself to become dependent on the outcome of a particular situation with just one man.
The same moment you open an online profile and start to receive messages from many different men, you’ll start to feel so much more relaxed.
You’ll experience having other options.
You’ll start to talk with other men via texts and you’ll immediately feel how much until now you’ve been energetically focused on your man. That extreme focus is very often a reason why he hasn’t come closer to you.
Leaning forward behavior often pushes a man away; and by dating just one man, you can easily start leaning forward and becoming desperate or too dependable.
Going on dates with different men will immediately make you see a bigger picture of possibility instead of enforcing a laser focus on just one man.
Even your man will immediately start to feel that your vibe has shifted and that you aren’t so hung up on him.
Online dating is the best remedy for shifting our vibe straight away and healing ourselves which I will describe more briefly in one of my next blog posts.