‘Leaning back’

Should you text a man who stopped texting/contacting you?

I remember around four years ago when I first heard about the system of tools that I am teaching today, I was practicing it on my own.

I was dating a few guys at the same time, which I today call SIM dating as an abbreviation for simultaneously dating more than one guy at the same time.

One evening I met a new guy who left a great first impression on me. He picked up the great place, we had a lot to talk about and it was a perfect evening.

After our date, he told me to text him if I was interested in continuing dating him. It was a red flag for me and I thought “Why is he asking me this?“.

I didn’t feel totally comfortable with that but I remembered that I learned that if a man asks you to do something then it is not masculine energy and leaning forward. During that time I was really practicing being in my feminine energy and leaning back.
I was feeling a bit nervous and excited that night so I didn’t know what to reply but today I would say “I like when a man contacts me first. What do you think?“.

Anyways, I did contact him the next day with a nice feeling statement message and he replied that he will be happy to see me and that he will plan something and call me.

And not a word from him in the next 12 days!!!!!

I know it maybe doesn’t look like a big thing because it was just one date, but it was a big thing for me because I thought he was special and I gave him a much more importance that he actually deserved.

It is all in our head when we make some man special from the start even though it is a way too early to jump into that conclusion because he didn’t support it with action. It is what I call “an imaginary picture about a guy“ which then leads to “an imaginary relationship“ where you got yourself invested in a guy way too early.

So I always advise my ladies to treat all the guys that they are SIM dating EQUALLY. Not making one better or more important than another, and rather staying objective and watching their actions.

Making one guy special only if his actions are special!

Let me go back to the story.

I remember around day six, I was feeling so disappointed and had an urge to text him. I was thinking that he is maybe a kind of a guy who needs a little help from my side to realize that I like him. And I was thinking if I do not text him than some other lady will!

Luckily I promised to myself that I will follow this system and one of the boundaries which I was practicing was not to initiate contact at the beginning of a relationship. My choice was rather getting more active on online dating websites and redirecting my energy towards other guys.

That felt really hard for but I stuck to it!

I remember that night on the sixth day  I ended up on a date with one of the other guys I was seeing at the same time and wow, that really helped me forget about this guy but still not totally.

During the next few days, I was really active on online dating profiles and went on a few more dates and that all help me to let go of the man who obviously wasn’t interested enough.

I succeeded to observe his lack of effort as a turn-off rather than a call for a more action from my side.

After that sixth and seventh-day crisis, it was much easier to overcome the urge to text him.

Finally, on the 12th day when I already let go of him energetically, he came back and I received his message where he was explaining how he was ill and had food poisoning and was even at a hospital for a few days.

Wow! That was a success! I felt so happy and grateful and so impressed how this thing of letting go really works.

Only when I stopped obsessing about him and making him too important, was he able to come to me!

This blog is already too long to continue writing what happen next with this man but I will rather choose to share what I gained from this experience:

  •  Because I stayed faithful to my boundary of not texting him I felt stronger from the inside and very proud of myself
  •  This journey of getting love life transformation is never about a man. It is rather self-empowering and is about attracting a better quality man from that much more confident, firm, self-loving and stable state of being
  • Even though I wasn’t physically leaning forward by texting him, I was thinking about him so much that I was actually energetically pushing him away. Only when I got myself more into dating other men I succeeded to let go of him and that was a huge success for me
  • I realized that if a man is a great match for you, he will not forget to call you or text you and you don’t need to HELP him or SHOW him your interest by texting him. It is enough to stay energetically open and warm, to smile and express appreciation for little things he does for you
  • If other ladies are texting him and get his attention because he is receiving tons of messages, let them have him!! You don’t want a man who is not ready to invest an effort! Trust me, leaning forward kind of ladies will not be able to keep his interest on a long run! Only in a case if he is the very feminine energy guy this will work, but why would you want a guy like that?
  • If a man asks you on a first date to call him, that is a red flag and he is probably very feminine energy type of a man

  • Do NOT get yourself invested in a man before he shows you that he is really worthy. Don’t make a man special until he hasn’t proved you that he is by his everyday effort!

I hope you learned something from this.

Have you ever experienced obsessing about a man and not receiving his texts and then when you forget about him, here he comes?

Have you ever had a hard time wanting to contact him but knowing that you shouldn’t?

Lots of Love,

Andreja


The Necessity Of Leaning Back

Dear ladies,

Leaning back is one of the first and most important tools I encourage you to practice on your journey of getting better results in your love life.

To lean back is a very feminine feature and is all about energetically creating a space for a man to come to you.

It is about allowing him to come to you without you needing to do anything besides adopting a strong belief that you are worthy of being pursued and very worthy of being loved by a good quality man without needing to DO anything to deserve it.

It is absolutely enough to just embody your feminine energy because a good quality man wants to love you just because you are a woman and not based on what you “do”.

So how does leaning back in a relationship look like?

Not texting or calling a man first especially first few months of the relationship
As least as possible thinking about a man when you are not in his company
While on dates not initiating conversation. Instead of initiating questions letting him take a masculine role of a leader
Not initiating physical touch or asking him first about his day. Let him come to you.
Letting go of an urge to “make something happen”

In order not to push a good quality masculine man, I suggest you to NEVER do leaning forward activities.

When you Lean Forward, a man energetically feels as if you are going forward into his space and that actually pushes him away.

In a relationship, there is not enough space for both of you to lean forward so one needs to step back in order that one can come forward.

It is like in a dance; if a man leads,  a woman needs to let go of control, follow him and trust that he knows what he is doing.

How does leaning forward in a relationship look like?

The biggest leaning forward activity is chasing a man:
Calling him because you heard or read about something interesting or because someone told you about an awesome event or a concert that you want to invite him to
Asking him why he hasn’t called
Texting him, calling, Facebooking, dropping by his house or initiating any kind of contact
Asking him how he feels
Asking him how he feels about you and where this relationship is going
If you two live together, running for a hug the moment he comes home and asking him how his day was
Doing him a favor even though he didn’t ask you to or offering any kind of help without him asking you
Solving his problems and suggesting solutions
Planning a weekend for you two or inviting him to come to join you at gym or spa or anywhere
Thinking about him all the time
…. and similar

Many men perceive check-ins, offers or invitations as a kind of a pressure or a woman taking on the role of a pursuer.

You might believe that you are just being friendly and kind but trust me if a man is your romantic interest you shouldn’t treat him as a “friend”.

Don’t lie to yourself that you are just being “friendly” if you are interested in something more.

By leaning forward you lower his attraction for you.

If a man is interested in you, he will take the role of a pursuer and you only need to stay energetically open to him, warm and receptive.

I know you can give me examples of some of your girlfriends who texted their boyfriends at the beginning of the relationship all the time and a man still stayed with them.

You can tell me about the examples of the ladies that invited them places and organized and initiated many things and did a lot of leaning forward behavior and still end up marrying that guy.

The thing is that this kind of man is a very feminine energy kind of a man.

A woman who is with this kind of a man sooner or later gets tired of doing all the work in a relationship and she can start to get annoyed with him and maybe even start to build resentment.

It is much better to lean back at the beginning of a relationship so that a man can show if is he capable of taking the role of a leader.

If he isn’t, it is better to find that out as soon as possible before you find yourself in a marriage with him and than complaining how passive and clueless he is and you have to do all the work in a relationship.

From the start, you have the chance to see is your man masculine or feminine energy type of a man and the only way to see that is by leaning back.

Be brave enough to step back and relax in your feminine energy and let him work for you!

Are you naturally more leaning forward or leaning back kind of a woman? Do you find it hard to lean back?

If you have been leaning forward kind of a woman until now, try to practice this tool and let me know how it goes.

Love,

Andreja


Why He Hasn’t Called And What To Do About It

 If you are feeling anxious because your man has suddenly stopped calling, or has even ignored your messages after you reached out to him…

Or

If you went on the first date with a new guy you like very much and you believe it all went well, but it’s been a week and he still hasn’t called you…

I understand how you feel.  I’ve been there.

You may feel  anxious, confused, worried and scared that you are going to lose him. You may feel insecure and almost desperate.

It doesn’t have to be like that!

We need to shift your vibe straight away because feeling insecure, scared or anxious will just make things worse! I’m sure we can fix this right now!

THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IN THE FOLLOWING DAYS:

  • Shift your vibe by making yourself feel good. Do other things that you enjoy doing, such as going to different classes, joining Meetup groups, going to salsa or hiking or taking a meditation course etc.
  • Explore some new Meetup groups or classes. Go out and meet some new people!
  • If you are not dating other guys, now is a good moment to open an online dating profile. You will quickly realize that there are many other men who would be very happy to meet you and get to know you. Go out and date other men!
  • Focus your attention on yourself, change something about yourself, your hairstyle or wear a different type of clothing or jewelry. Find something you feel passionate about that has nothing to do with any man and allow yourself to go after it
  • Go and meet your girlfriends and do something fun.
  • Do everything that is in your power to make your life so busy that it can feel like you haven’t even noticed that he hasn’t called you.

HERE IS WHAT YOU SHOULDN’T DO IN THIS SITUATION:

  • Don’t try to reach out to him by calling him or texting him
  • Don’t try to contact his friends to ask them what has happened to him and why he hasn’t called you
  • Stop thinking about him, stop asking yourself what could have gone wrong, stop beating yourself up if you are starting to feel guilty or rejected
  • Stop checking his social media networks to see when he was last time online and if he published something new on Facebook or Instagram
  • Stop all activities that will keep you obsessing about him such as talking about him to your girlfriends or colleagues.

  • Stop talking and thinking about him!

Giving attention to yourself and your life will help you reduce his importance. Man can sense when we feel needy or desperate. You need to feel lit up from the inside.

Whenever you ‘re thinking too much about any man and focus your energy and attention on him, you are stepping forward to him. Hence, you’re taking away his space to come to you. You are not in a receiving mode!

It doesn’t matter why is he pulling away; maybe he is thinking about his next step in your relationship, maybe he is thinking are you the right person for him, maybe it is just a part of your relationship timeline.  Maybe he is just not the right person for you! It doesn’t matter why and don’t waste tine wondering why!

Men have the need to pull away from time to time. That is their thing. They are like a rubber band. They came to us as close as they can and then they have a need to pull back.

The reasons why he has pulled away, aren’t as important as your reaction to his withdrawing which is crucial in creating attraction or pushing him away even further.

If he IS the right person and just needs some space and time, the most important thing for you to do in order to get a good outcome is to do the steps I just described.

Finally, always remember you can’t push away a man that is right for you,

 

P.S. If you want to get more love advice from me and connect with other ladies who are also learning some new things about dating and relationships, join us in private Facebook group “Love With Ease”.

Everything you post there is highly confidential.

Here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/277358435991748

I would love to support you more.

Lots of love,

Andreja