Every person has masculine and feminine energy. Most men are mainly acting out of masculine energy.
Masculine energy is connected with thinking, giving, doing, managing, advising, planning, leading, organizing and so on.
We women are also using masculine energy while doing our everyday duties on our job, working on our projects, leading our businesses and earning money.
In our relationships with men, we started to act too often out of masculine energy and that is wrong! It has brought a lot of confusion into relationships because your man wants a woman and not another man!
Women have started acting like men!
Nowadays you can often see us chasing them, sending messages first or calling them, buying them drinks, asking them out, organizing things in a relationship, making plans, controlling men, trying to manage them and so on.
No wonder this kind of behavior doesn’t bring good results!
In a romantic relationship, it is very important to decide do we want to act from feminine or masculine energy.
Feminine energy is about feeling, being, receiving, intuiting, allowing, responding, following, expressing and so on.
A man wants a woman who is warm and soft and who can listen to him. He wants a woman who doesn’t need to control or manage him. He wants a woman who RESPECTS him.
Respect is the most important thing for a man and when we try to control him he doesn’t feel respected.
A man wants a woman who is able to feel and able to express her feelings easily and clearly without being emotional or needy or a drama queen. A woman who is easy to be with!
Therefore, while we are with a man we should let him be a leader while we act from feminine energy. It’s not possible to dance if both partners are leading. Let him lead! That will ignite your romance.
Hence, how can us women connect more with our feminine energy and act out of it while relating to men?
The first step is to be present in our body and to be able to feel.
A woman needs to start acknowledging her feelings and expressing it to a man by simply starting the sentence with “I feel ….“
Our basic feeling statements would be “I feel happy“, “I feel sad“, “I feel angry“, “I feel scared“, “I feel glad“, “I feel warm“, “I feel cold“ and so on.
Finding a feeling in every moment and simply expressing it will result in connecting your heart to his heart. Heart to heart connection is the most important thing in a romance.
Opening our hearts to a man is powerful and that is the only way he can fall in love with us. The process starts with us opening up to him so he can open up to us as well.
He will feel safe with us when we are being authentic and vulnerable. A connection will happen when we start sharing our truth straight from our heart.
Man needs to feel safe with us in order to fall in love. And he needs to feel thrilled.
Any mature masculine man wants naturally to give you his love, his affection, his gifts, his time and interest and he wants everything to be his idea.
He wants to invite you to go with him to different places, to initiate calls and to lead.
The problem happens when a woman is trying to manage a relationship and lead it, in the same way, she is leading, planning, organizing or managing her business. We can’t apply the same behavior in our love life!
The business world and romance world are different.
In love, it is necessary to act from feminine energy.We need to let go of control!
Most of all, we need to stop ourselves before attempting to do any masculine activities like trying to lead and manage the relationship.
Most relevant is to stop ourselves when we want to manage him, criticize, complain, give him advice or suggestions or when we want to initiate anything, offer favors or offer anything. Stop that immediately if you have been doing this until this moment!
All those things are very controlling and men shut down when we do it and they become resentful.
Very often they get angry at us without being aware that they are angry. They feel that we are trying to control and manipulate them and they don’t like it. They lose attraction towards us without even knowing why.
Instead of controlling behavior we will choose to use “Feeling Statements“.
When we really stop doing all those controlling behaviors, there will be a lot of silence in our conversations with him. He will feel something has changed about us and that our vibe is different. He will notice that we are much easier to be with.
He will finally feel free to relax in our own company and he will be able to breathe freely.
And then, he will have a chance to step towards us and to truly hear us as we have started to express ourselves in feeling statements.
We will be stepping back all the time so he can step forwards.
It is like in the dance. One has to step back so another can step forward. Controlling behavior is very stepping forward behavior and we want to avoid that by all means.
Acting from our feminine energy means always leaning back which brings harmony to the relationship.
Removing all our controlling behavior from a relationship brings peace and joy to our man and all men we are interacting with. Once when we have removed all controlling behavior, man can come to us and shower us with his love and affection.
Being authentic, open and vulnerable and letting go of control doesn’t sound like the easiest thing to do when you first hear about it.
When you’ll start to practice it baby step by baby step you’ll feel more and more confident to be yourself.
Choose to act from your feminine energy, lean back and put yourself and your feelings first.The results that you will get very soon will amaze you!
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Lots of love,
Sometimes, being a girlfriend isn’t in your best interest if you’re looking for a long term commitment.
You believe that accepting the exclusivity straight away will be the first step to “happily ever after”.
But men don’t think that way!
It doesn’t matter if you’ve seen your man for a few months or a few years, in his eyes you two are dating.
Many women believe that if he introduces you to his family or his friends or, if he has been dating you for a long time, it means your relationship is becoming more serious.
Unfortunately, that’s not true!
Your man believes that until the moment he proposes you, you two are just dating!
Let me give an example for this.
You’ve been seeing a guy for a few months and you really like him. You accepted the title of “girlfriend” and the promise of exclusivity. The problem is that he isn’t calling you as much as you would like, and he’s not seeing you as often as you would like.
It feels like something is missing.
Very often you find yourself thinking about him and wondering if you should stay with him or find someone else. You have strong feelings for him, but it feels as if he isn’t giving you his full attention. For a few days, he is showering you with all his love and affection, and then a couple of days afterward he becomes totally silent. He is acting hot and cold.
You feel scared to tell him that you aren’t happy with his hot and cold behavior. You don’t want to sound needy or desperate.
You start to wonder did you do something wrong to provoke this hot and cold behavior?
I understand how that feels, I’ve been there and we can fix this!
Guys who aren’t steady in expressing their affection and interest can be so draining and not fun. They can make us feel insecure and unimportant and often very confused.
You don’t have much from a guy who calls you one time per week or sees you a few times per month!
What do you do in a situation like this? Is the only solution to leave him and find someone else? Or do you stay with the same behavior in hopes that something may change in the future?
The solution to this is very simple!
If you’re longing for a long term relationship, you shouldn’t allow yourself to become exclusive too soon with anyone. If a marriage is what you want then you shouldn’t become exclusive with anyone until marriage is on the table.
Having fun, going out on many dates, but being intimate with just one guy is the solution!
In order to keep yourself sane and not becoming needy, the best thing to do is not to allow yourself to fall into “a girlfriend trap“.
If you are looking for a long term committed relationship, then it’s for the best to keep your options open until the right guy, who really wants you, claims you by proposing to you.
A period of three or four months is enough to see whether the guy makes you feel great.
If during that period he does his job of meeting your needs well, seeing you at least two times per week, calling you regularly in between, asking you out on dates and you feel really good, then it is okay to continue like that.
If he doesn’t do his job well, and you start to feel insecure and needy by being with him in an exclusive relationship, this is what you can tell him:
“I feel great dating you and I feel awesome in your company, but I don’t want to be a girlfriend. I am looking for someone who I can walk into the sunset with. I am looking for a committed relationship and for someone who is truly here for me. I don’t want to put any pressure on you or on our relationship so I would like to keep my options open by going out on coffee dates with other men“.
If the marriage is what you want, you can share this kind of a speech when you are with a man who doesn’t claim you after around a year of dating him.
Until the moment he proposes you, a man doesn’t feel any real commitment to you.
By allowing yourself to be his girlfriend, you’re at his mercy (at the mercy of his free time, at the mercy of his feelings and decisions etc), and you cut all your options without being sure of the outcome of the relationship.
You are becoming dependent on his behavior, and he has so much control!
That’s why it is crucial to allow yourself to date other men, going for coffee dates or drinks, or going for a walk with different types of men.
By dating other men and keeping your options open, you’ll never allow yourself to become dependent on the outcome of a particular situation with just one man.
The same moment you open an online profile and start to receive messages from many different men, you’ll start to feel so much more relaxed.
You’ll experience having other options.
You’ll start to talk with other men via texts and you’ll immediately feel how much until now you’ve been energetically focused on your man. That extreme focus is very often a reason why he hasn’t come closer to you.
Leaning forward behavior often pushes a man away; and by dating just one man, you can easily start leaning forward and becoming desperate or too dependable.
Going on dates with different men will immediately make you see a bigger picture of possibility instead of enforcing a laser focus on just one man.
Even your man will immediately start to feel that your vibe has shifted and that you aren’t so hung up on him.
Online dating is the best remedy for shifting our vibe straight away and healing ourselves which I will describe more briefly in one of my next blog posts.