How to stop thinking about the man who vanished
#poordancer #choosewisely #choosehappiness #stoppunishingyourself
This post is dedicated to anyone who feels stuck and is obsessing over a guy who has vanished from their life, nowhere to be found and they are having a hard time “letting him go” or stopping observing him like he is “candy from the candy shop” that they need to have, which he definitely is not.
So, here it is:
A guy you went out on one or two dates with didn’t ask you out again. Instead of obsessing about him; longing for him; creating “a thing” for him; making him too important, “so desirable” and “special”; here is what you do:
Observe his actions, or rather the lack of action and interest, and ask yourself, “Do I want a man like this who makes me feel insecure before we have even started something or do I want a man that makes me feel like I am special and a Love Queen who is worthy of his attention and his time?”
And then say to yourself and make this decision, “I don’t want this former kind of man, I want the latter!”
Really ask yourself, my darling, “Do I want a man that makes me feel insecure? That I find myself longing for? Frustrated? Sad? Lonely? Unwanted? Undesirable?”
“Yes Andreja, but I like him so much, he is so special and we had a great connection and I haven’t felt, in a long time, the feelings I have when I am with him.”, you might say.
Okay, so let’s check which emotions he has given you over the last few days and weeks (or months? ;)) while you have been waiting for his call which, by the way, is not happening.
You feel insecure, unloved, frustrated, lonely, unhappy, unworthy, undesirable, angry and so on.
And that is how he makes you feel most of the time.
You can’t just zone in on the two hours that you spent on a date and forget the last 336 hours (2 weeks, not gonna count more :)) during which you felt these negative emotions.
When we observe how a man makes us feel, we need to check how he makes us feel when we are with him AND ALSO when we are not with him.
This one is a total “FAIL” in the “when he is not with me” department so his performance in trying to win you over is very poor and you don’t want someone who performs poorly.
You want a good dancer!
This one is not even on the dance floor at the moment!
Making yourself and your life miserable because of the fact that some man left the “dance floor” of your life will not help you in any way. You toxify your body with bad chemistry when you give a minute more of your attention to someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Hey, woman, wake up!
You have the power to change your mindset and how you observe these things!
Why would you punish yourself like that?
If you feel attracted to someone who is obviously not that into you, you are NOT loving yourself.
You are punishing yourself badly. A healthy and happy relationship is so much more simple and usually doesn’t develop from these kinds of situations.
For a Love Queen, the lack of interest, investment and attention is a huge turn off!
You say “Next” and you don’t even think about guys like these for another minute.
That’s how much attention you give to guys who are not into you.
“You are not into me? Okay, have a nice life!”
Let go of him! You can’t even “let him go” because you never had him anyway but you need to “let go of him” energetically.
You have that power and it is very simple once you understand how wrong your previous mindset was.
When “holding onto him”, your behavior is absolutely incorrect and you are definitely on the way to making your life, health and emotional state miserable.
Do you want to make yourself miserable or you do you want to make yourself happy?
Learn the art of letting go.
With my Love With Ease method, there is a lot of letting go present because usually we carry too much emotional, and other, “baggage” that we need to let go of in order to become the light, free and happy version of ourselves.
Holding onto things that don’t serve us, make us stuck without the ability to change and move forward.
So what will be your choice?
You always have much more power than you think you have.
If your choice is, like I mentioned before, “I don’t want this kind of man”, save it as your mantra for when you are dealing with men that will not give you the attention that you deserve to get.
To your right choice and clear understanding,
Your Love With Ease Coach