What if you like a man who doesn’t like you back?
Dear lovely ladies, here is a letter from one of my clients:
I am single, 28 yrs. I am in a dating process and it happens to me all the time is that men I like are not showing interest or don’t stay with me and the ones that want me I find very unattractive. Can you please help? I am very frustrated about this. ” Loreena
Here is my reply to her:
Firstly, you need to know that there are many ladies who have experienced a similar situation and it a very common pattern.
Sometimes we subconsciously block love even though we believe we want it but deep down we feel scared of intimacy or we feel scared of being hurt.
What I have noticed so far in my work with different ladies that I coached, is that most often it is about having a wrong mindset about ourselves. It is about deep down inside believing that we are not good enough, not pretty enough or not worthy of happiness and love.
If that is the case, we feel attracted to a man with whom a relationship is not possible: who is not interested in us or who lives far away or is unavailable in any way.
It is like on the outside we want relationship and love, but on the inside we sabotage ourselves.
This is a deeper issue of not loving ourselves enough.
Men who are available and interested in us somehow feel boring and almost annoying.
That’s why we choose men that we feel chemistry with and we wrongly believe that this chemistry is love.
We are ready to do almost anything to prove to him that we are worthy of his love and interest.
We also have a hard time letting go of that person whose approval, love and affection we so much long to get.
It is like we are trying to get from him something that we need to give ourselves.
The outside world always mirrors our inner state and in order to fix this we need to do some inner work in order to change this pattern.
You need to know it is totally fixable and is totally possible to change this all around!
I could write about it much more but the solution for this is to start SIM dating more guys at the same time, checking and noticing your patterns.and giving chance to guys you don’t find interesting at first.
Guys who even trigger you with icky feelings.
When you face your triggers, those uncomfortable feelings that will start to come out, your task will be to embrace them, love them and release them.
You need to embrace all that resentment and all those icky feelings you collected during the previous experiences or inherited from your family.
Observing and noticing what comes out in a company of men, will help you heal.
By that, I don’t mean that you need to share all the things with him if there is no need for it.
That’s how online SIM dating can become free therapy and that is what I encourage all women to do.
Most of the things I am talking about here are small inner observations and shifts in attitudes and beliefs while practicing easy tools which will put everything in the right place.
I can give precise tasks and tools which will help you change this and fix it!
If you decide to take action and do everything it takes to get better results, you need to know that you are not alone in this journey of transformation. Many ladies are in the same process and getting the great results.
If you decide to start working with me, we can go deeper and I will give you precise tasks what to do on your dates and how to transform all this.
You will start to feel more confident, attractive, powerful and comfortable in your skin.
Once when you change your main beliefs, shift your vibe and experience loving yourself more, you will automatically be attracted to better quality men who will want to love you.
I hope this helps.
Dear Loreena and other readers, I described what is behind this unhappy pattern and how dating can help to heal it but for getting into precise steps for how to fix it on a deep level, it should be with my support.
P.S. If you want to get more love advice from me and connect with other ladies who are also learning some new things about dating and relationships, join us in private Facebook group “Love With Ease”.
Everything you post there is highly confidential.
I would love to connect with you more in my Facebook group.
Lots of love,