What if you like a man who doesn’t like you back?
Dear lovely ladies, here is a letter from one of my clients:
I am single, 28 yrs old and dating process. What happens to me all the time is that men I like are not showing interest or don’t stay with me and the ones that want me I find very unattractive. Can you please help? I am very frustrated about this. ” Loreena
Here is my reply to her:
Firstly, you need to know that there are many ladies who have experienced similar situations and this is a very common pattern.
Sometimes we subconsciously block love even though we believe we want it but deep down we feel scared of intimacy or we feel scared of being hurt.
What I have noticed so far in my work with the different ladies that I have coached is that most often it is about having the wrong mindset about ourselves. It is about deep down beliefs that we are not good enough, not pretty enough or not worthy of happiness and love.
If that is the case, we feel attracted to men with whom a relationship is not possible: they are not interested in us or they live far away or they are unavailable in some other way.
It is like on the outside we want relationship and love but on the inside we sabotage ourselves.
This is a deeper issue of not loving ourselves enough.
Men who are available and interested in us somehow feel boring and almost annoying.
That’s why we choose men that we feel chemistry with and we wrongly believe that this chemistry is love.
We are ready to do almost anything to prove to him that we are worthy of his love and interest.
We also have a hard time letting go of that person whose approval, love and affection we long to get so much.
It is like we are trying to get something from him that we need to give ourselves.
The outside world always mirrors our inner state and in order to fix this we need to do some inner work to change this pattern.
The good new is that this is totally fixable and totally possible to change it all around!
I could write about it much more but the solution for this is to start SIM dating (more than one guy at the same time) checking and noticing your patterns and giving guys you don’t find interesting at first a chance.
Even guys who trigger you with icky feelings.
When you face your triggers, those uncomfortable feelings that will start to come out, your task will be to embrace them, love them and release them.
You need to embrace all that resentment and all those icky feelings that you have collected during your previous experiences or inherited from your family.
Observing and noticing what comes out in the company of men, will help you heal.
By that, I don’t mean that you need to share everything with him if there is no need for it.
That’s how online SIM dating can become free therapy and that is what I encourage all women to do.
Most of the things I am talking about here are small inner observations and shifts in attitudes and beliefs while practicing easy tools which will put everything in the right place.
I can give you precise tasks and tools which will help you change fix things!
If you decide to take action and do everything it takes to get better results, you need to know that you will not be alone in this journey of transformation. Many other ladies are in the same process and getting great results.
If you decide to start working with me, we can go deeper and I will give you precise tasks on what to do on your dates and how to transform everything.
You will start to feel more confident, attractive, powerful and comfortable in your skin.
Once you change your main beliefs, shift your vibe and experience loving yourself more, you will automatically be attracted to better quality men who will want to love you.
I hope this helps.
Dear Loreena and other readers, I have described what is behind this unhappy pattern and how dating can help to heal it but to get into those precise steps of fixing things on a deep level, it should be with my support.
P.S. If you want to get more love advice from me and connect with other ladies who are also learning some new things about dating and relationships, join us in private Facebook group “Love With Ease”.
Everything you post there is highly confidential.
I would love to connect with you more in my Facebook group.
Lots of love,