How do we know if a man is “the one” for us or if we should continue our search?
Yesterday I watched a movie “Beauty and a briefcase” and it inspired me to write this post.
A lady in a movie had a checklist of what her perfect man should be like.
That made me think about the checklists that we are consciously or subconsciously creating while relating to men.
You have probably experienced how it felt once when you met a guy who fit perfectly to your list of demands but still, a relationship wasn’t that successful.
He suddenly becomes colder and colder or maybe tells you he wants to be “just friends”.
So why a checklist doesn’t work as the criteria to choose a right man for us?
Why does it happen that even though some man fits 8/10 on your list, but still the two of you go separate ways?
What if I tell you that all of those checklist things have nothing to do with attraction and connection and are very superficial?
The only criteria in picking a right man should be HOW DOES HE MAKES YOU FEEL WHEN YOU ARE WITH HIM AND EVEN WHEN YOU ARE NOT WITH HIM.
Do you feel loved and very important to him and as if you are receiving his energy or you feel drained, empty or anxious?
Does he make you feel secure and loved when you are together by constantly fulfilling your needs but also when you are not together by texting you, calling you and giving you an attention you deserve ON REGULAR BASIS AND CONTINUOUSLY?
Does he keep you wondering if you are important for him or does he show you with his actions HOW MUCH important you are to him?
And the second very important thing is to notice IS HE A WILLING STUDENT; willing to learn HOW to keep making you happy.
You can observe whether he is focused only on his self and not interested in your true needs.
Is he taking care of you only after he took care of all the rest in his life such as his job, family, friends, social activities and so on?
Or is he putting you, your needs and a relationship success as a priority in his life?
His beautiful blue eyes and cute face will not be of any use to you if he makes you feel insecure when he doesn’t contact you for days or makes you feel confused and unloved if he is acting hot and cold.
You need a man who will show you with his actions how special you are to him all the time.
A man who will not forget you and will always put your needs first.
A man who will not be wishy-washy and who will not keep you wondering where you stand in his life.
My dear ladies, in order to make better use of your man picker you need from today onwards, CHOOSE TO BE AROUND ONLY MEN WHOSE ENERGY IS COMING TO YOU and the ones that treat you as a priority and not the 46th item on his list.
He is interested in who you truly are as a person.
He is putting you first, asking about how you feel and how your day went and is interested in your feelings and wishes.
He is really doing his best to GIVE to you and do things that make you happy.
The opposite of that is a man who is trying TO GET something from you, a needy or immature kind of a man whose ability to make you happy is actually very small.
A man who wants YOU to make him happy.
Trust me, you don’t want to be with a man like that! Even if he is smart and very handsome, belongs to the same church and makes you laugh and is very charming. 🙂
He can’t be the right man for you if he makes you feel bad, insecure and anxious about his next step.
Remember, it is all about HOW HE MAKES YOU FEEL when you are with him and when you are not with him and IS HE A WILLING STUDENT; willing to LEARN how to keep making you happy.
To Your Succes In Love,
For more tips and love advice join my private facebook “Love with Ease” group. I can personally support you there and reply to your questions.
Have you ever met a guy who you like and he sends you nice text messages on a regular basis but never asks you out?
You like him very much but time is passing and nothing changes. You feel very frustrated about it.
He is flirting with you and you are surely not in a friend zone but what is he waiting for? Why doesn’t he ask you out?you might be wondering.
Maybe after a long wait, you decided to take initiative and ask him out. He said yes but then canceled at the last moment. Looks like he is really wishy-washy but he keeps sending messages to you.
What does that mean and what to do about it?
Texting can’t replace face to face visits. Many intelligent women nowadays get fooled by this attention and believe that it means something. But sadly, it doesn’t!!!
Texting without meeting and dating is just words, nothing more!
Some men get their fill of feminine energy without ever needing to date you. In some cases, they build a stable texting buddies to boost their ego.
When a man is truly interested in you, he will ask you out and he will want to see you! No matter what that man has to do, he will fit you into his schedule. If a guy really likes you, he will make time for you and make sure he gets in touch with you.
If he likes you, you will know it! You shouldn’t ever be left wondering.
What to do in a situation like this? This man is actually stringing you along and “chatting you up”. He is keeping you as an option if all the other things don’t work out.
Maybe he talks about getting together but never follows up. This is a man who has decided you are not the one for him. It is possible that you feed his ego so he keeps up flirting and texting because it makes him feel good.
If he doesn’t ask to talk on the phone and then meet you within next ten days or maximum of two weeks, you can stop answering his texts and move on! It is simple as that! You are investing your precious time in a man who has no plans to date you.
Therefore, it is your job to get out of the situation like this and to weed out guys who are not serious. Those texting things are meaningless!
This is one of the boundaries you can set for yourself and refuse any guy who is not acting in accordance with it.
For example, I had my boundary set that I stop responding to a man who hasn’t asked me out in a three weeks period.
Set your own boundaries in advance and stick to them!
Having boundaries helps us in valuing ourselves and in maintaining our confidence high. Every man that meets you will know that you are a woman who values and respects herself and holds herself in high regard. He will be able to feel it in your vibe.
That will make you even more attractive. Having boundaries will help you to let go of the people who don’t do what they are supposed to so you can make free space for the ones who will give you all that you need.
Don’t accept crumbs when you deserve the whole cake! We accept the love we think we deserve. You deserve the best! You deserve a man who will want to spend time with you and who will not keep you waiting and wondering. You deserve a man to whom you will be a priority and not just a texting buddy.
Hence, if you notice that a guy is wishy-washy, just move on!
You deserve better than that! Don’t make excuses for him and don’t waste more of your precious time.
If he wanted to ask you out, he would!
P.S. If you want to get more love advice from me and connect with other ladies who are also learning the new things about dating and relationships, join us in private Facebook group “Love With Ease”.
Everything you post there is highly confidential.
I would love to get to know you and connect with you more in my facebook group.
Lots of love,